This week Molly (age 13) is away at camp. Samantha (age 14) was supposed to go, but she opted out this year. While Molly loves to be surrounded by people, noise, and organized chaos, Samantha does not. Sam loves a quiet book, being alone, and order. I'm surprised she actually went back to camp for the second time last year - and even liked it.
It's funny, though, how different life is when one sibling is gone for a period of time. I've been so busy looking forward (in a chronological sense, of course) to Andy moving into the dorms next month, that I'd forgotten what it might be like if one of the girls was to leave instead. Molly and Andy are the extroverts in the family. Sam is the consummate introvert, and Todd and I are somewhere in the middle, with both of us leaning toward the introverted side of the scale.
As Andy has grown up and begun to find a life of his own, he's been gone a lot during the day and in the evenings. The house is often much quieter, as a result. But of course, Molly seems to fill that vacuum quite adeptly. Now that she's gone this week, I find myself in utter bliss. Ok, not really - I miss her terribly. But the reality is that the house is delightfully quiet, and moreover, when Molly is gone, Sam comes farther out of her shell and in her own quiet way, tries her luck at filling the noiseless vacuum.
Bottom line, in my own round-about, disjointed way, I'm observing that each family member brings something to the table that helps to define what the family is, as a whole. With even just one person gone, we are only a fraction of what we are as a whole. With Molly gone this week, something is definitely amiss; and while we are enjoying the quiet, it doesn't seem normal. When Andy leaves in the fall, the four of us who are left will attempt to be a family of four in his absense, but it just won't be the same.
I've been joking for over a year now that with all my kids having reached their teens, I'm on the home stretch. But I'm not sure I want to be.
Copyright © 2007 - Paulla Estes
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